Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
