I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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