He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
