ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
