She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
