I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i believe in u and ur pee
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
