Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
