If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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