I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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