there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
