Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
