I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
