I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
