this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
