Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
