i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize
