Me too!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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