I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
