Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
