Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Two words: nipple clamps
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