my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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