I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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