belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
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