Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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