what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
