grandma shit on top of the toilet
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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