I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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