I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
