Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
