Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm like, not good at living.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
