people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
