Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
why is half of my head shaved?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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