She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
