why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
