i just google imaged poop.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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