i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
