Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize