If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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