Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
