those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Never underestimate the power of titties
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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