do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
