My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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