no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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