Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Your penis caused this!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
