Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
