Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
