Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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