There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I deserve this hangover.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
