omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
