I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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